Thursday, 19 April 2012


It took me a whole week to pluck up the courage to write this blog.  It is not easy to admit failure and I also wanted to be able to write something from a positive place, not from that place of defeat. At first I wasn't going to write about this at all, but I did say that I would be in it for the good and the bad. Last week was a taste of "the bad". That may have been the bad, but this week has been the GOOD.

Over the Easter weekend the wheels fell off and although they are back on now, and I am back on track, I have to face the consequences. You see I had to make 5 birthday cakes, decorate and serve them last week and it was just too much for my will power. Not only that, but there were Easter hot-cross buns, loads of chocolate and a very large family gathering with lots of food. My coping mechanism and therapy is to write about challenges and issues. And so I did.

I wrote about it and this is how I expressed what happened:
5 cakes and Easter treats everywhere and I am expected not to eat any! Well I tried...but failed. Not a good week in terms of nutrition and a worse one in terms of exercise.

The kids took turns being sick during the week so as a result, I was tired and my resistance was down.

We ran out of goat's milk and my husband started making coffee in the morning again and I had to smell it! Urgh! I tried the, "I'll only have one" thing...Sorry, but that does not work.

I am a sugar addict and I hate it! (by the way Carbs are converted to sugar in the body)....

It just does not work for me...So I fell off the wagon this week, only 2 days on track out of 6 and tonight was meant to be my last "fling" with sugar.. I was going to have a last piece of cake before I gave it up for good.........

AND I WAS MAD!!! Pretty much mourning the fact that no longer would I have the enjoyment of something sweet and sugary and that I would have to just go through life eating tasteless boring old food because I can't tolerate sugar, nor can I metabolize it! (Unless I wanted to continue packing on the pounds? I used to weigh 137 lbs! Now I weigh 157 or so... I am too scared to get on the scale to check what I am now, but before Easter I was 155 lbs.) Also eating carbs and sugary things saps my energy and I just feel so lifeless...yuk!

I opened the fridge ready to slice a nice big piece of cake and then it dawned on me....WAIT A MINUTE!!!! I AM NOT GOING TO BE A SLAVE TO SUGAR ANYMORE!

I will NOT eat that last piece of cake...I have a choice....and I CHOOSE not to be a slave to sugar......" 

Right then and there I decided to make a fresh start and beat this.

It was really hard for me to admit that I was indeed a "sugar addict" and a recovering one at that.
A friend (bless her!) who read my confession had this to say:

"Maybe people without "addictions" don't understand the process and evolution of thinking that goes on as we "think it through". As an alcoholic in recovery, I sometimes have to to through the same thinking, from self pity, to anger, to acceptance. The joy of having a CHOICE and being victorious over my addiction, is so rewarding. Your addiction won't interfere with your driving a car, make you dance on tables at parties, or make you lose your job, but it can be equally as powerful. Thank you for sharing your feelings. Congratulations on your victory over the last piece of cake. Life is not only one day at a time, it is one choice at a time. You just WON!" - L

So I confessed to Igor and he told me a few interesting facts that made me feel a whole lot better. This is what he said: "First of all, Sugar is more addictive than cocaine. 
Here's the elaboration on that:
They gave rats both sugar and cocaine, and then they made both equally accessible to see which one the rats would go for. They went for sugar every single time.  Alcohol can be avoided, the problem is you have to eat food, and there is sugar in food." - Igor

My response to this was: "Oh my goodness, I'm a Rat!"

To read the original document concerning this experiment with sugar click here
To read a less technical version of the same click here.

Look on labels for these names which all represent sugar in a product: 

Honey, Dextrose, Fructose, Corn syrup, High-fructose corn syrup, Sorbitol, Fruit juice concentrate, Galactose, Lactose, Polydextrose,Mannitol, Sorbitol, Xylitol, Maltodextrin and Turbinado sugar.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Thank you for your comments.